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In one weekend their ace put a hurting on their catcher and their manager kicked enough dirt to get suspended. The wheels had fallen off. But in a turnaround fit for Hollywood, the Cubbies showed their resiliency and fought against the odds to beat the Braves yesterday 10-1. Clearly yesterday, the Cubbies had their sports training/team bonding montage that I had been predicting.

So this one is for you Cubbie fans. A salute to the great Harry Caray, a man who was paid to be drunk. That’s Doug’s dream.

There’s always next year Cub fans, but there will never be another Harry Caray in Wrigleyville.


The Unassisted Triple Play, As Boring As Normal Baseball But Three Times Faster

Troy Tulowitzki of the Colorado Rockies turned just the 13th unassisted triple play in Major League history against the Braves yesterday. The unassisted triple play is one of the rarest feats in baseball yet somehow it remains as boring as regular baseball. The guy who turned the triple play didn’t even have a clue what was going on, probably because he was lulled to sleep by the blinding pace of the game.

Feats more rare than the unassisted triple play but way more exciting:

Tubby old white guys getting thrown to the ground by angry pitchers with Jheri Curls

Drunken/High perfect games and no-hitters

A sober Doug…not so exciting but more rare than a unicorn…Doug’s favorite animal, he wears unicorn t-shirts