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Martina Likes To Party

Anna Kournikova and martina hingis

Breaking News: Martina Hingis likes to party with cocaine. I really thought she was a boring swiss prude and retired about 5 years ago to caddy for Sergio Garcia, but turns out, she was playing tennis…professionally. I know, I was suprised to hear it too. But seriously, quitting over cocaine? If every professional that was found to use cocaine was forced to retire, there would not have been a single player on the ’86 Miracle Mets and Wall Street would be barren and overrun with homeless. Because if American Psycho has taught us anything it’s that Wall Street runs on nose candy…and that nothing beats the simple pleasures of hooker murdering and Huey Lewis and the News,

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