Being a nationally ranked collegiate wrestler pretty much guarantees you of being more badass than me, but being a nationally ranked collegiate wrestler with one leg as a Freshman puts you in the pantheon of legendary badasses like Bear Grylls and Doc Holliday and Super Mario and William Wallace.
But let’s be serious for just a second here. Bear Grylls is like the Zeus of Badasses. I know it’s pretty fucking popular to say “Oh, well Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer because he is such a badass.” Well, that’s just stupid. If you have ever said that, go ahead and pack up your testicles because you are a gay.
Shit, Bear Grylls literally skinned and gutted a dead camel….and then ate it’s shit. Let me break this down for you one more time….He ate dead camel shit, straight from the camel’s stomach. Top that Chuck Norris, you pussy.
PS: Bear Gryll’s piss cures AIDs, too bad he is too busy drinking it.
College Football O-Fee-Shul-E opens up tomorrow. My sources tell me there were actually a few games last night, but those don’t count. And tooo-nite Washington plays Syracuse in an epic intercontinental match. And by Epic, i mean boring. And by boring I mean no one gives a fuck. And by no one i mean no one except yours truly who is always game for a sucker bet……Washington +3 here I come. Pac-10 4 Lyfe.
Back to the point. College Football officially opens up tomorrow. Other than Tennessee @ Cal there really aren’t any mouthwatering matchups. Unless you make a bet, which I must say, definitely adds to the intrigue of a matchup between Middle Tennessee St. and Florida Atlantic.
Oklahoma St. @ Georgia and Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame are both solid matchups, but thats cuz everything else blows such ass. But who cares, CFB is a go which means I get to stop losing money on NFL Preseason games as I watch a 4th string TE fumble away my money on the game winning drive. Fucking cunt.
Onto the picks:
UCLA -17 @ Stanford – Stanford is terrible. UCLA is awesome. Easy enough….
Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame UNDER 45 – Gtech will probably take this outright. Charlie Weiss will go from Genius Fatass to simply Fatass this eason.
Tennesse @ Cal -6.5 & OVER 54.5 –Hippies are the suck but these hippies are fast and well coached. Cal is gonna put 40 up on the vaunted SEC defense.
+46 @ souther cal and UNDER 58.5 – 40-fucking-6?!? I know Idaho’s QB is starting his first game and that sc’s being hyped up to be gods gift to football, but god damn. Unless sc’s D scores multiple touchdowns, that offense will struggle (relative term) to cover 46. And the under is a lock good bet considering Idaho will be lucky to put up a field goal.
OKState +6 @ Georgia -Big 12 sucks but OkState has some thugs on their team that should put up a fight. Bobby Ried is a baller and hopefully won’t have whitey cutting into his time at QB.
Western Michigan @ West Virginia -23.5– WVA’s offense has its moments…
besides being a professional soccer player /super-model banger, cristiano is also a world-class pansie.
so greg’s hero is a world-class pansie.
yet greg is my hero (for reasons that will go unmentioned).
I’m gonna find the nearest bridge before I have to face the reality of what that makes me.
This is the inaugural post on Dungy Had the Under and i would like to welcome all of the millions of readers who have yet to hear/care about anything i say…except for doug, who i will be physically forcing to read this site everyday.